Literally. No, I’m not a groupie. My boyfriend has been in a band for as long as we’ve been together. Dating the drummer in a band has its perks. I’m introduced to a whole different group of people and I get into their house parties for free. However I also get the pleasure of being blown off for band practice, expected to know every lyric to every song, and of course there’s always the band groupies.

They haven’t hit the big time yet. So the groupies aren’t out of control at the moment. But dating a guy in even an obscure band (sorry sweetie!) comes with its fair share of issues.

I’m pretty supportive of the band. At parties, I bring the boys their beer so we can have an uninterrupted jam session. I generally tolerate the band practices that sometimes disturb my nights with him. And when it comes to being his number one fan…well, no groupie has anything on me.

But a lot of the time, I wonder about the band. His other woman. His other love. How can I compete with her? She’s always there for him. She’s not rude to him when she’s had a bad day. She doesn’t drunk dial him on weekends. She’s his constant comfort.

My fear is intense and selfish. I wonder all the time. Silently of course, but the nagging grows everyday. It’s a masochistic question, one I hope I never ask after too many cocktails. But one day it might slip out.

Who’s more important? Me or the band?

It’s hard to say sometimes. I’ll never know for sure. But maybe it’s not a linear list. It could be an ever-changing thing…like a relationship Twitter feed. One day, I could be number one. Another day, like my 21st birthday last year that was spent at a gig, she could be it. I suppose it’s unfair to want to be number one in his life. We’re not married. Nor are we anywhere near close to it. But a band is a big commitment, just like a relationship. And I’d like to think I was his most important one.

But then I started thinking about my important relationships. My family, my friends, my dog, myself. Are they always second to him? Of course not. My relationship Twitter feed changes from day to day and need to need. So why shouldn’t the same hold true for him? He just has an extra relationship on his list. It’s just this relationship comes with drunken band mates and screaming obnoxious girls. But hey, he puts up with my close and personal relationship with spicy tuna rolls. We all have to make sacrifices.