There are too many things to count that get under my skin, the majority are aspects of human nature. Things people like, that I don’t like. It’s actually very immature of me, and humorously enough, immaturity is another thing that annoys me. As a self-loathing skeptic, I loathe millions of things. I loathe most people my age or under. People who use their children as a reason to cross the street before anyone else. People who only listen to one genre of music. American cars. Rednecks. Black licorice. People who think Transformers is the best action movie since Terminator. And last but not least the fourth chipmunk, Miley Cyrus. Mixed in with my miscellaneous pet peeves are the ever-growing number of fads constantly imposed on me. I can’t turn on the TV or the radio or pick up a magazine without seeing trends that generally make me question my own species. Here are CWG Magazine’s most annoying fads of this decade from the more endearing early years to 2009.

1. Emo. I hate almost everything about this genre. The fans, the clothing, the hair, the attitude. I hate the false perception that it is somehow punk and rock music infused together. There are exceptions to the general idea that Emo is terrible. Emo used to be defined simply as “emotional.” Bands like Death Cab For Cutie, Jimmy Eat World, Blink 182 and Dashboard Confessional were classified as Emo at first. Even Fall Out Boy used to be a more likable band, before and during the “Sugar We’re Goin’ Down” days. In a guilty pleasure kind of way, many Emo bands are tolerable. Bands like Say Anything and The All-American Rejects however, are not.

The majority of Emo music is so whiney and obviously lacking in originality that I can’t distinguish one band from another. Emo is the Budweiser of music, it’s foul and mass-produced and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

2. Reality TV. Supposedly reality TV started a while ago, as in, the 60′s. The real virus started with shows like “Survivor,” “The Bachelor,” “Survivor” and “The Real World.” Granted, The Real World used to be a really good show, it has now, like most other reality shows, been reduced to a bunch of tan, sexed-up college dropouts sitting in a hot tub full of sperm. “Flavor of Love” was always a herpes-spreading favorite as well, as the beloved anorexia of “America’s Next Top Model.”

Reality TV shows are cheap to make because they don’t require the hiring of real actors. Like every other trend, reality TV keeps getting weaker in quality as its popularity grows. Now, instead of just “American Idol” and the ever so indulgent “Dancing With The Stars,” we get shows about midget families and fat-person-specific dance/weight loss competition shows.

The quality of TV represents the maturity of our country’s general population. The less we focus on improving the environment and foreign affairs and quality of life in general, the more we can focus on Simon Cowell’s tight shirts and what Tyra is doing with her hair this week, yay!

3. Skinny Jeans. Ah… a spin-off trend from Emo music. When I see a guy in skinny jeans I instantly ask myself one question and one question only, “Does that guy actually have a penis?”

Seriously, there is no way to fit any kind of genitalia into these pants, so I can’t help but come to the conclusion that guys in skinny jeans have none to speak of. Or you know, if they do, it’s nothing substantial Is it not degrading enough for Emo guys to have black spiked-up soccer mom hair?

I mean look at Kate Gosselin’s hair, is that not an Emo haircut? C’mon guys is that something you want to emulate or someone you want emulating you? A woman famous for having eight children and a douche husband? Whoever started it, the soccer moms or the short dickless wannabes, these jeans are not sending the right message to anyone but the mass cult of drooling teenagers and aging posers these Emo boys run with.

4. Twitter. Didn’t this already exist before in the form of Facebook updates? Except in that form it was less impersonal. While it is interesting to follow up on certain less disgusting celebrities, divulging your personal business to the whole world is kind of a horrifying idea. An idea that defines what American media is all about these days, getting in the face of every celebrity and never quitting or leaving them alone. So why, may I ask, are celebrities putting gasoline onto the fire?

5. American Idol. Some good things have come from American Idol, we have Kelly Clarkson and the country version of her, Carrie Underwood or “Country Clarkson” as I like to call her, and the always entertaining Adam Lambert. Otherwise, American Idol is nothing but a reason to not watch TV. Even when the “artists” are decent, their performances are somehow horrible and over the top. The fans are as aggravating as the show. Auditions can be entertaining, but soon grow old.

Oh and a new reason to not watch the show? Paula is gone! The one funny thing about American Idol was Paula’s pill-popping drunken delirious comments and behavior. Now we get the less crazy but still obnoxious new judge, Kara DioGuardi and Edie Falco’s twin sister separated from birth, Ellen Degeneres. What exactly is the appeal of watching Ellen judge a singing contest?

I just think she couldn’t possibly make it any worse, so they picked a random celebrity name from a hat and gave her the job.

6. Guitar Hero. With 5 official installments and countless spinoffs, this game is the most popular video game of the decade next to Grand Theft Auto and Halo. Another reason for random people to fail at a potential music career by wasting precious guitar lesson minutes on a video game.

Just like Harry Potter got non-avid readers to pick up books, this game gets non-nerds to play video games! Stay away, chances are you’ll end up playing Muse’s “Knights Of Cydonia” over and over again while wearing a diaper.

You will seriously be too lazy and intent on beating the song on expert mode to get up and take a poop.

7. Paris Hilton. Since her debut into our lives in the form of a badly filmed sex tape, Paris has been invading our lives with her blonde dog-in-purse ways. I honestly feel that Paris Hilton is kind of funny, like George Bush. Since she’s never been in a position to actually control anything, such as a country, I find her much less threatening.

She says “That’s hot” a little too often. She makes the majority of her profits making “appearances” at parties, dancing poorly and singing like a taller, less talented Britney Spears. Her antics may be annoying, and even her own supposed best friend Nicole Richie might as well have a restraining order against her but she’s no Lindsay Lohan. Firrrreeeecrotttchhhhh!

8. Tramp Stamps. Oh yes, the most steady fad over the decade for women, getting a lower back tattoo. Besides being a stripper, this is something every contestant vying for the affection of Bret Michaels on “Rock Of Love” has in common. As seen on Saturday Night Live, your tattoo will, with time, sag and stretch with your fading metabolism.

Not only that, think of yourself as a car. Would you put a bumper sticker on a Bentley? No you would not. I myself fell victim to this trend, and I couldn’t regret it more, at least I didn’t get a fairy tattoo though. Eek. The male version of a tramp stamp is one of those heinous tribal arm band tattoos. The bigger the biceps where said tattoo lies, the smaller the brain of said tattoo owner.

9. Auto-Tune. Did I really become a fan of music only to hear people’s real voices become distorted into what could only be described as robot vocals?

This trend spreads like cancer from hip-hop and rap to pop to country. Even my favorite fag hag, Lady Gaga uses one. From T-Pain to Flo Rida to Justin Timberlake to Avril Lavigne to Rascal Flatts. It never stops, and it’s making my ears bleed.

I’d rather sit inside a volcano than hear any more of this. You literally could not turn on the radio without hearing the atrocious effects of Auto-Tune. It’s like steroids, it makes things less legitimate, only it’s legal!

10. Twilight/Vampires. HBO’s Trueblood is pretty cool and the Twilight books are perfectly entertaining. Vampires are everywhere and it’s starting to wear thin. The trend started in recent years and like Auto-Tone and Emo music, it seems as if, not only is it not going to end, and that it’s only going to get bigger and bigger and bigger. So tell me, are you team Edward or team Jacob? I’m still team Bela Lugosi. No not Bella Swan. Jesus. I don’t care what anyone says though, Kristin Stewart is the only credible actress or actor in the Twilight movies. Did anyone see Adventureland? Best dialogue since Juno.

So, that wraps up the list of the worst fads of this past decade. Honorable mention goes to flipped-up collars, text messaging and hippie headbands for women, or men I guess. I’m sick of rummaging through Urban Outfitters and finding nothing but billowy v-neck shirts. I’m sick of having to read Perez Hilton’s gossip page to find juicy celebrity information. For less annoying gossip go to Evil Beet. Also the shows “Gossip Girl” and “Heroes” and that ridiculous nonsense “Lost.”

Also “The Office” is just bland observational humor in the workplace with a fake reality show spin. What’s worse than reality TV? Shows that take aspects from reality TV but aren’t actual reality TV shows. From “The Office” spawned shows like Amy Poehler’s “Parks and Recreation” and Joel Mchale’s “Community,” shows that are even less funny than their originator. The Jonas Brothers take the cake on annoying fads that didn’t make the list. Them and the previously mentioned Miley Cyrus. I’d pay Taylor Swift to take her down a notch, but she’s too nice and probably impaired due to her squinty eyes. Hopefully this decade will result in less disturbing fads, though the realist in me truly doubts it. I know that none of you are going to agree with me, but I thank you for your time regardless.